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jeudi, novembre 25, 2010

♥ My life is in You, Lord

An impromptu title which really shows what I wanna type today! :)

I always wonder or think of the decisions that I've been making all my life. And how God actually brought me and still bringing me through..

I've been talking about my life since my PSLE days to secondary school days to O level. Of how I managed to go on to the next level by the skin of my teeth.

Even in Polytechnic, though my year 3 life was much more memorable. Hmm, my final semester was Teaching Factory - programming. How I regretted doing programming but God made a way! Haha! Of cos thru the people lah. Supervisor and teammates! If not how can I ever get a perfect GPA for the one and only time in my life. LOL.

And my final semester studying in year 3 stage A. How I regretted not studying enough for Fluid Mechanics (was expecting to fail the module seriously but thank God I had a D) pretty angry at the ugly grade cos after maintaining for 2 years, instead of a Dist is an ugly D. But it's better than failing! Reprimanded myself for napping that night instead of mugging for the last lap literally! Anyway, I couldn't do the paper, slept a little during the paper, bawled my eyes out after the paper cos I knew that I would fail the paper. So I was really really thankful for a D! And this semester was my highest GPA in 5 sem! See how awesome God is?! Really taught me to depend on Him..

So university was next. Getting into local university was my goal since poly cos I hate it when people thinks that only JC students can make it. Sadly got rejected for full time cos the COP this year is so high lah! From 3.3 to 3.6 leh! Just last year was only 3.2 to 3.3, how come my turn so suay right! But I'm very sure God purposely lah. Haha! Got story behind this university thing de.

I kept telling God that I really x2357535787335 want to get into NTU! Full time OR part time also can! so long as it's NTU. And if I can get a place, I'm willing to go for M! =X sounds like 我谈条件 lor. But in my heart..... I wanna get into Full Time so that I can stay in hostel and zhao from youth ministries. I don't mind getting Part Time cos I would have the chance to do the former plus my workplace so near NTU! And I got a place for Part Time (4 years course) in NTU!! and I was rejoicing and very thankful however... I felt that it wasn't right for me. Decisions made by feelings? I dunno. I didn't accept nor reject the offer. Thought really hard. I received the letter in May! And my workload was just so much! I did a total of 60.5 hours OT just in that month. How am I supposed to handle work and studies at the same time? Plus study in NTU die die must work at the same time if not can't get the tuition grant. This was also part of the reason why I didn't accept cos it takes 4 years and you need to work at the same time..

So I decided to look for another alternative ie what i'm currently doing. Study in a private school cos my course requires only 27 months part time. And it's in Hougang, better than Pioneer right?! Some may say that it's the prestigious degree, but sometimes it doesn't really matter where you do, as long as your certificate really worth something at the end like first class or second upper lor.

I've written my reasons in my previous post, and how I think I will really die if I don't study. In fact I'm expecting lousy grades this term :( I thank God for courage and wisdom that I handed my resignation letter already and don't care about the bonus. Cos I think I can use this 1 solid month to catch up before my examinations. Speaking of that, I'm gonna have an awesome new year.
3rd Jan- Mechanics of Solids 2
5th Jan- Mechanics of Machines
7th Jan- Mechanics of Fluids
But on the bright side: thank God for christmas and new year's day that's why examination are delayed for 2 weeks! :) not trying to be optimistic lah, but it was really a fact when I realised. Heh.

Very difficult to surrender everything to Him cos I struggle too. Self-note: don't use logic to win God. His ways are higher than our ways. (I just noticed that God gives me choices and I always seems to make wrong choices but He always makes it right in the end when asks)

Finally can type a whole chunk after months! :)

God shows & teaches me love at...
12:21 AM


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